Breaking news: Weâ€™ve neither signed nor sold anyone.
I switched on Sky Sports News on about 2nd January and they were already lathering at the chops and reminding us that there were a mere 29 days and 6 hours and 14 minutes or whatever it was remaining before the end of the transfer window. Not so much flogging a dead horse as flogging a newborn foal.
So Iâ€™m calm as a millpond, though I will admit Iâ€™m intrigued how Wenger will play his cards this month. Weâ€™re always told that January is a bad month for buying players, what with them being cup-tied or their clubs unwilling to sell them mid-season and all that, but weâ€™ve actually done some sterling business in previous windows. Reyes, Diaby, Walcott, Arshavin all spring to mind.
Also, when the official site tells us â€œThe Arsenal manager intends to add quality and quantityâ€ then the possibility of more than one incoming signing clearly raises its head. And when the boss himself tells us that â€œIdeallyâ€¦ you want to act as quickly as possibleâ€ then the fact it could be soon, and there could be one, two, or a whole army of new faces, then, thenâ€¦
OK, Iâ€™ll admit it. The hype, while mostly baseless and clearly rather see-through, is good fun too.
The most pressing thing is tomorrow night of course. Snow permitting, and of course result permitting, we could go second, and with every decent performance comes renewed confidence, more belief, and more hope. Two late goals at West Ham canâ€™t have hindered either, even if we struggled a bit before Diaby and Nasri came on. The fact is, we turned it round. Itâ€™s a promising sign.
With Denilson back, he will slot straight into a Song-shaped hole against Bolton. I suppose heâ€™s the nearest weâ€™ve got to a replacement, with Diaby more adventurous and the quite excellent Ramsey replacing Fabregas.
Also back is Arshavin, and as we chop and change our squad itâ€™s a considerable light at the end of the tunnel to hear that Clichy returns to training next week, and that Bendtner should resume training soon too.
Right, Iâ€™m off to peer out the window and pray for flakes. Not enough to cancel tomorrow nightâ€™s game, but enough to make it impossible â€“ simply not feasible â€“ to go into work tomorrow.
(Just kidding, boss).
Meantime – this is always good value for a morning transfer tittle-tattle round-up.