Nothing more to say other than I wanted to use that headline.

£1.5m up front for a reluctant goalscorer is probably about right, though if he manages to locate his long-lost scoring boots then it’s a bargain for the Boro.

“He fits perfectly with the sort of player we are trying to bring in,” said their Chief Executive, who had been briefed to find a striker who gets into excellent positions then fluffs his lines.

I’m being harsh. In all honesty, I think if he gets his head down, and given a run in the side, he could score 15 goals next season. For £1.5m, that’s a punt worth taking. He’s right quick too. So I wish him all the best, and I genuinely hope he gets some goals.

Except against us.