van Persie: broken. Djourou: broken. Rosicky: mended

We’ve all been busy waving goodbye to the most itchy-footed footballer of all time to realise a game is practically upon us – we’re off up west to the Cottage at 3pm tomorrow. Well I’m not personally, but you know what I mean. We’ll hear more today in the usual pre-match press conference but yesterday we discovered that van Persie and Djourou are both set for “an extended stay” on the sidelines. I can just about take the latter, but the former’s woes are frustrating in the extreme. It’s almost exactly a year ago since he broke his foot scoring against Utd, and although he has made 14 appearances since then, it feels he’s been out forever.

With that in mind, I’ve composed a little ode to the man we would love to have back in the side but are growing used to living without:

Oh Robin, oh Robin,
You were king of the castle
We heard a snap
It was your metatarsal

Oh Robin, oh Robin,
You were ready to fly
We heard a ping
It was your thigh

Oh Robin, oh Robin
There’s so much to do
We heard a sniffle
Bloody hell: it’s flu

Oh Robin, oh Robin
Oh Robin van Persie
Will you be fit
Before you are 30?

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