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There ought to be a manual for advising people how best to avoid shoe-horning woeful puns into the titles of blog posts, you know. I merely say that. Because we all know that Krystian Bielik is not the new Chris Whyte, even if both could play centre-half. But in the absence of a legendary Arsenal […]

Nice long break from this lark, looking at sunsets and things, so much so that I didn’t watch much of the Emirates Cup, the Community Shield passed me by for the most part, and I didn’t see the Palace goals until about two days ago. I am a prawn sandwich, and if I was to […]

Wenger has always been something of an expert at the surprise signing. You could never bet against him pulling a Frenchman with something to prove out of a hat. The ultimate ‘Abracadabra’ was Sol Campbell, who emerged like a mirage, grinning into the Colney sunshine. On that occasion Wenger allowed himself a wry smile in […]

#452283772 / gettyimages.com The recruitment continues apace, with Debuchy coming in as our first-choice right-back. In the website photoshoot he’s got his arms on his hips (psychologists will tell you he’s ready and in control – that’s a good sign for us. He may also be showing off his armful of tats, two of which […]

I’m sure you’ll all agree that no time is a bad time to shoehorn in an inappropriate Musical Youth headline. Yes yes, I know he plays on the right-hand side. And that ideally we don’t want ‘pass Debuchy on the left-hand side’ to be the opponents’ tactical Plan A. And anyway, why would Debuchy be […]

2014 Right hook: “We are not on the market specifically at all.” Left hook: “I believe this year again you will have to wait until July 15 to start going.” 2010 Right hook: “The World Cup will not affect our recruitment” Left hook: “It is dangerous to buy on the back of a World Cup. […]

Arsenal 4-0 Coventry City Has there been a wetter season at the Emirates? Ordinarily it rarely simultaneously rains and blows a gale in a northerly direction during a game, thus rendering the roof entirely incidental where I am sitting (which is near the front of the lower tier, as you can see above). But yet […]

Arsenal 1-0 Tottenham Doffed chapeaus all round – to Giroud, for an imposing performance in which he scored a deft little number (“good touch for a big man”), to Mertesacker for his robotic leg, to all-action Flamini for coming on, rustier than a shipwreck, and getting stuck in from the off. To Ramsey for another […]

I’ve been away, loafing in Ionian sunshine, studying things from afar, so much as ‘things’ can reasonably be called ‘things’. So for real action, the Fenerbahce game was my season opener, and it was as good a spectacle as any game in which you’ve got a three goal lead can be. Ramsey – excellent, Cazorla […]

Arsenal 1-3 Aston Villa As Villa’s third goal went it yesterday, consigning us to our first opening-day defeat for 20 years, I felt a twinge of pity. A clash of calendars had rendered me elsewhere so I was watching it unfold on the Twitters (never good for one’s equilibrium), and I suddenly felt a pang […]