Pass Debuchy on the left-hand side

I’m sure you’ll all agree that no time is a bad time to shoehorn in an inappropriate Musical Youth headline.

Yes yes, I know he plays on the right-hand side. And that ideally we don’t want ‘pass Debuchy on the left-hand side’ to be the opponents’ tactical Plan A. And anyway, why would Debuchy be passing on the left-hand side? OK, I concede, it’s awful. But I’ve mentioned Wenger on the beach, I’ve thrown a cursory comment or two towards the World Cup and with not much else to fall back on, I’m resorting to shambolic wordplay.

Of course, he’s not actually signed yet, there’s still plenty of time for the tits to head in a northerly direction, but there’s a lot of noise about this one and he could well be our first signing of the summer, paid for by selling a player who was no longer ours anyway. How very Arsene that would be.

You can see his stats over at Arseblog, and some almost entirely positive comment from an NUFC blogger (unless he’s doing an “I’ll drive you to the airport if necessary”.)

He’s in his peak years, he’s used to the Premier League and he’s an established international. Nor, at £8m, is he expensive. So on the basis that this was a position that needed filling, but not the most crucial area of weakness in the squad, I think he’d be an excellent signing.

The Sanchez rumours bubble along too, and I’m hoping there’s no smoke without fire. It’s an ambitious one though, and as we saw last summer with ambitious attempts to land strikers, these things are easier said than done. What’s promising is that since last summer (let’s skirt over January for the sake of this point, y’alright there Kimmy) we’ve quite evidently upped what we can spend on players. £42.5m on Ozil buried our transfer record, with bells on, and the fact that we’re in for a £32m striker fills me with some confidence that, even if this one doesn’t quite come to pass, we’re no longer scrabbling around pretending.

An Englishman abroad

On another note, I see Ashley Cole is off to Roma. Now, as you know, we’ve not got a lot of time for almost-swerving-off-the-road left-backs in this part of north London, but I’m glad he’s decided to go there. English players have many faults, and one of them is parochialism. I know they earn good money here – better money than in most places – but the more English players that go abroad to learn both football, and to experience another culture, the better it will be in the long run for England.

Right, I’m going to make a cup of tea and watch the transfers roll in*

*Slash, just make a cup of tea.

Stop starting, starting going

2014

Right hook:

“We are not on the market specifically at all.”

Left hook:

“I believe this year again you will have to wait until July 15 to start going.”

2010

Right hook:

“The World Cup will not affect our recruitment”

Left hook:

“It is dangerous to buy on the back of a World Cup. The prices are artificial and you have to bear in mind that anyone can have three weeks of glory.”

Compare and contrast, before breathing deeply and reminding yourself that the summer is long and packed with fun stuff. Wenger’s pronouncements on signings have the remarkable ability to get under everyone’s skin, so the best advice I can give – and I’m going to try to follow it myself – is just to not be driven to distraction by it. Not at all.

Transfer season is silly, misleading, stressful, packed with lies and counter-lies, and life is just too bloody short.

So I’m not falling for anything, not hanging on anyone’s words. I’m going to spend some more time with my family, watch the World Cup, enjoy Wimbledon, go to some cricket, have the odd glass of something cold and refreshing. I’m going to enjoy the summer.

[How long do you give me?]

Singing in the rain / signings and the gain

arsenalpano

Arsenal 4-0 Coventry City

Has there been a wetter season at the Emirates? Ordinarily it rarely simultaneously rains and blows a gale in a northerly direction during a game, thus rendering the roof entirely incidental where I am sitting (which is near the front of the lower tier, as you can see above). But yet again, for what seemed about the fifth time this season, we were treated to the very best that England could throw at us. If this is global warming then it can stuff itself. I want an umbrella included in my 3% more expensive season ticket next year. Either that or some kind of contraption that extends the roof. Or something Arsenal-branded that keeps me dry. Maybe a Poncho Monreal, a Theo Walcoat, a Lukasz Fabianskijacket or a Ju-Young Parker.

It didn’t seem to matter too much in the end. We had the amusement of the dimmed lights, which was immediately followed by thousands of mobile phone torches. They would have been lighters in the 80s. Matches in the 1950s? And before floodlights, you had to turn up to the game with your own bonfires. Whoever said modern life was rubbish? You can’t tweet with a lighter. Or Instagram with a match. Anyway, I’ve veered somewhat off course.

The Coventry fans made their protests – I thought impressively – and it’s a salutary tale against the nature of modern club ownership and the toothlessness of those who are meant to govern it. An overseas hedge fund that knows nothing about football has run the club into the ground. I wish I knew the solution. Good luck to them in their quest to make it back to Coventry (to an excellent stadium waiting for them, currently sitting idle. The whole thing is insane).

As for the game, the urgency fizzled out for Arsenal after Podolski’s double, which let City back in for a while. The result was never in doubt though. Onto the fifth round and I for one would love a run right to the mucky end of this competition. It was easy to take Wembley or Cardiff visits for granted when we were getting there so frequently – five FA Cup finals in eight years – but we’ve only made one semi-final since 2005. From one extreme to the other.

Signings

I’m too experienced at this lark to get carried away by any talk of transfers, especially in January, and I’ve long learned to take Wenger’s utterings on this matter with a pinch of salt. He gives little away, and why would he?

But we all saw what Ozil’s arrival did to Arsenal, just when it was needed. We’re in an amazing position at the moment, but we’re going to need all the help we can get, both in terms of personnel and psychologically. So if there’s a deal that can be done in the next five days or so, it would make so much sense to pull it off. Would it upset the equilibrium? Of course not. It would have the opposite effect.

So go on Le Boss, surprise us all.

Giroud, Giroud, Giroud is on fire

Arsenal 1-0 Tottenham

Doffed chapeaus all round – to Giroud, for an imposing performance in which he scored a deft little number (“good touch for a big man”), to Mertesacker for his robotic leg, to all-action Flamini for coming on, rustier than a shipwreck, and getting stuck in from the off. To Ramsey for another gut-busting performance, to Wilshere for not being injured, just a bit squiffy, and to everyone else really, because we beat our old pals deservedly and it felt as good as it always does.

Incidentally, I did like fellow seat-dweller Shedman’s take on Flamini’s return. “He’s a proper grown-up”.

Quite a strange game in some respects, with Arsenal ceding a fair bit of possession to Spurs, especially in the second half, but still having by far the better chances. Walcott had a couple of good opportunities, Ramsey skied one, Cazorla could have got in on the act and Monreal almost got to a rebound. The atmosphere was crackling and the team spirit clear for all to see, with some of the players dispensing of their shirts into the crowd. There were fist pumps.

Yes, it was amusing in a perverse way that £100m of signings lost to £0, but theirs has been an approach to the transfer market that many of us wish we had at least in part emulated (though we don’t need seven – maybe two or three), and there’s not a man jack who isn’t hoping against all hope that we splash at least a few thousand of our multimillions today. Because let’s be honest, when a few injuries hit, as they have and do, a bench containing two full-backs plus Zelalem, Sanogo and Gnabry is not really a long-term solution (much as I want them all to get their chance). Our first XI cannot do it all. We ended the game with all four full-backs playing.

It’s a big boost to head into the interlull (Yes! There’s another!) with a win, and to dispense some of the storm clouds, but as we all know what happens today – somewhat ludicrously – could also have a big effect both on the pitch this season, but also off it too.

Will we sign anyone? Anyone big? Well guess what, I don’t want to jinx it so I’m not even going to mention one of the big names we’ve been linked with. Because that jinxes it, duh.

I will however update this page when the tide of world-class footballers starts to flood into Highbury House. If I start taking on water, I’ll send out a mayday.

Come on you reds. Come on you CEO. Come on you rip-roaring legal department.

With respect to Sanogo

I’ve been away, loafing in Ionian sunshine, studying things from afar, so much as ‘things’ can reasonably be called ‘things’.

So for real action, the Fenerbahce game was my season opener, and it was as good a spectacle as any game in which you’ve got a three goal lead can be. Ramsey – excellent, Cazorla – peerless. We sprung well from the back, the crowd was munificent in its support (bar the thousands of empty seats, but it was maybe a hard sell given the outcome was as good as decided), and here we are once again dining at the top table with the champs, so it’s all good. Since the Villa mess, we’ve looked positive and dangerous.

Well, it’s not all good. I lie. Poldi thundered off up the left wing and pulled up clutching his hamstring. We were told he’d be out for a Diaby – three weeks going on ten – and so it proved. He now joins Arteta, Oxlade-Chamberlain, Vermaelen and Mr Three Weeks himself cluttering up Colin Lewin’s office.

It makes the next few days both ‘crucial’ and ‘interesting’, which may be be better than the ‘baffling’ and ‘maddening’ that have preceded them, or may not, depending on what happens. I don’t know anyone who can make any sense of this summer’s transfer vacuum, so I won’t pretend to try to make sense of what might happen between now and Monday night either. Whatever happens it will be hard to consider it as anything other than a trolley dash. But we shall see, eh.

And with respect to Sanogo, it was good to see him come off the sub’s bench. Tall lad, a bit nervous and it looked it. Having the likes of him, Ryo and Gnabry as benchers is as risky as it gets, frankly. As is having Sagna as centre-back and having Gibbs/Monreal as forward options.

Nigel Flamini on a free? I loved his application when he was with us before. Just the energy we need, if he’s still anything like as good as he was (and there are some who worry his injuries have diminished him). And huge experience. And free – which is obviously good for a club operating on a £70m shoestring.

Work it out for yourself – I’ve given up trying.
__

Pop over to the Arsenal America podcast, why dontcha. I was on it, along with Gingers4Limpar and James Olley from the Standard. Did we make sense of the world? Did we chuff. Cheers for having me on, Chris.

Arsenal’s summer comes back to haunt it

Arsenal 1-3 Aston Villa

As Villa’s third goal went it yesterday, consigning us to our first opening-day defeat for 20 years, I felt a twinge of pity. A clash of calendars had rendered me elsewhere so I was watching it unfold on the Twitters (never good for one’s equilibrium), and I suddenly felt a pang of sadness for the poor sap who had hoovered up my seat on the ticket exchange.

Was it his or her first game? How were they feeling? Were they experienced enough at this lark to know that it’s not always like this? That sometimes we win, and we weren’t always this cross and mutinous? There I was, flush with my £30.84p rebate and there they were, £35 poorer (with £4.16p going to causes unknown). Me 1 them 0.

So Arsenal got out of bed on the wrong side, with a predictable and completely understandable venting of frustration following it. It needn’t have been like this though.

Shedman texted me at the game’s death with the words ‘It’s toxic here’, and it doesn’t take a genius to have foreseen that it might be.

It’s all about perception. The bottom line is that, had we even made one signing of £10m+, the well of patience would have been a lot higher than it was yesterday, even had the result been the same. The anticipation and excitement would have been higher, the players might have had a boost. But because we have done no business for the best part of three months, the perception – my perception, probably many other people’s perception – is that the club is dithering and rudderless.

And what Arsenal really didn’t need, and what Wenger really didn’t need, was a fanbase on their backs from the word go. But it’s pressure entirely of their own making. Quite frankly, football aside, it’s a PR disaster to have started the season with no new signings of any proven calibre.

Obviously, from a football perspective, it’s not too clever either. A squad already down to bare bones has now lost or could lose Arteta, Gibbs, Vermaelen, Sagna, Koscielny suspended, Chamberlain, Ramsey, Rosicky. Who will play centre-back against Fulham? There is nobody.

And of course, we go to Turkey for a crucial test – one that could make the club £10m, but more importantly could have a big say in the willingness of players to join us – on the back foot.

You can’t blame the fans for their reaction. They’re not booing the players, they’re booing the board, the manager, the owner.

Yes, we could have won the game, or drawn it, but we didn’t. We didn’t have more options because there weren’t that many. Whose fault is that?

I don’t care if any signings from this point on are viewed as reactive rather than proactive. The bottom line for me is that the club desperately needs the boost that new faces bring, not just on the pitch but off it. And I don’t believe that in the whole world of football there are not a few faces who could significantly improve this squad.

I expect something to happen, as I have all summer, but the way it’s panning out leaves a lot of questions unanswered.

Cazorlanomics

Last summer:

30th April – Podolski signing announced
26th June – Giroud signing announced
7th August – Cazorla signing announced

Looking back at our main activity last summer, Podolski’s deal was sorted almost ludicrously early (very un-Arsenal-like), Giroud’s in good time and Cazorla’s as the season was about to begin. July was a total wasteland, just as this July has been a vision of transfer apocalypse.

Now, we know that we nabbed Cazorla because Malaga were skint, and we got him for a good price, and on that basis he fitted in well with Wenger’s ethos. Top quality player, very reasonable price. Merci beaucoup, bonnet de douche, Chateauneuf du Pape and all that (not that Wenger is Del Boy, because he couldn’t be further from that, really). But we got him quite late, and I think you can see where I’m attempting to go with all this.

I cling to this like a limpet to the hull of a ship: in a constipated transfer market, August can sometimes be the prunes (needs more work – Ed).

Intransigence can give way to necessity, prices can drop, just like in any auction – or go up, true – but my point is that in July some players are on holiday, the managers can be on holiday, the teams are off around the globe making money and in August, they’re not. Things heat up.

“But what about Man City”, I hear you say, and even our chums up the road for that matter, who have broken their own transfer record, and I have no answer to that. I merely grasp at the coat-tails of optimism.

And as long as there’s time – almost five weeks remain – there has to be optimism, right? It just makes no sense to me for Arsenal to a) announce they have money, very publicly, b) for everyone in positions of power to admit we want to strengthen, c) to offload players we no longer need in order to free up space in the squad and the balance sheet and then not do anything. If that happens, it makes no sense to me.

I’m not preaching patience, because we’re past that. I’m just saying that I can’t envisage Arsenal not strengthening. I can’t see a sensible reason why we can’t or won’t. And Cazorla is the perfect example to give that deals – and not just any deal, but world class deals – can be done as the season is about to begin. Arteta and Mertesacker are other examples of excellent players being bought pretty much as the transfer’s fat lady is reaching her crescendo.

There’s a fabric for success in what we have already. Some players have grown visibly over the last season, others will improve now they’ve settled in, some are back from injury. Our defence underwent something of a metamorphosis in the tail end of the season. Why would you not build on that?

I might look like a mug on 1st September, or whenever the window closes, but applying logic to this I think we’ll see some substantial incomings. It makes no sense not to.

*makes rod for own back*

For those who’ve not yet seen it, there was a good chinwag on Google Hangout with Arseblog, Gunnerblog, Arse2Mouse, Goonerholic and myself. Here it is. A bit of gloom, but not 100% gloom…

Prices are rising with the mercury

A couple of tweets yesterday, from Rory Smith of The Times, which I found interesting.

This makes a lot of sense, doesn’t it? If Suarez is ‘worth’ £40m, then Real Madrid have every right to think that, just maybe, £23m is a low price for Higuain. Certainly, Higuain has less baggage and more Champions League experience. £17m is a big difference.

Then, to prove it beyond reasonable doubt, Arsenal went and bid £30m for Suarez. So that proves – to Real Madrid – that a) Arsenal have enough money and b) they can ask for more than £23m for Higuain.

There is a certainly a ‘game afoot’. And Arsenal will need to pay more than £23m if they want to win that game.

The market is inflated – no doubt about that – but that’s the market, right?

It feels to me that £23m is a kind of opening shot in the negotiation – rather than the final offer. Who starts these proceedings with their best offer? Nobody. But where I am slightly baffled is where the Suarez bid then fits into all this. As, perhaps, is everyone.

And the second tweet:

Well, it does to a point. And it’s interesting because Arsenal used to always be pretty coy about this, but not this summer. It’s a common fact that the club has cash to spend, all the club bigwigs have confirmed it, so in that knowledge of course Real Madrid are going to want more than £23m.

So why be so open about our finances? It could of course – as Tim Payton said in a reply to the above tweet – be to put pressure on the one man who can do something about our cash surplus. Le Boss.

There are undercurrents and politics all over the place. I could do without it to be honest. But at the same time, it’s quite fascinating.

Half an Arsenal gives Wenger a whole headache

It’s a case of Like, Yikes! as another spooky tour through the emotions concludes in a dilapidated mansion of despondency. Pick your own baddy dressed up as a pretend ghoul and you can write the ending yourself.

This blog has gone semi-fallow, a little like the team I love, but can you blame me? I’m fairly sure I mentioned, earlier this season, that I was determined not to be miserable, so to find the quote I searched for the word ‘miserable’ on the blog and found plenty of examples going back further than I would care to say (and then I gave up looking, as naturally it made me more miserable). It either tells you something about the infinite capacity this side has to keep on making the same errors, or it indicates my mental state. Or both, I suppose. One perhaps brought on by the other. (And I am not suggesting that Arsenal are making errors because I am miserable – though if it were true, at least we’d have something to work on).

Our latest footballing tic seems to involve only playing for half a match, which is almost more frustrating than not playing at all. Because just when you’re about to explode with rage and call for everyone’s severed heads on a dish, the team magically performs a miraculous volte face and starts pressing, passing, making runs, defending more vigorously, and generally doing what deep down you know it can do. And against Chelsea, we had them on the rack at the end. On the rack! Had we possessed someone we could bring off the bench who was more effective than Andrei Arshavin – that’s to say, someone with feet and legs – we may have snatched a draw. And yet in the first half we were barely a football team.

City at home, Swansea at home, Chelsea away – three decent halves, three poor ones, why do we do it to ourselves? And that’s only this week.

Ultimately, it might well be that Wenger no longer has the capacity to coax this side to be the one that he – and of course we – would dearly want it to be. It’s quite possible that a couple of new players wouldn’t make much difference, at this stage.

But I am parroting what everyone else has pointed out by saying that it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that a couple of judicious signings could make enough of a difference to patch the side up until May, to plug a few gaps, to give everyone a boost. Look how they played in the last two second halves and you will be reminded that amid the maddening periods of lifelessness, there is the kernel of something damned good.

Wenger’s getting it in the neck from all angles for his foggy utterings on strengthening – definitely going to buy someone one day, complete side in situ the next – and the evident lack of decisive swooping in the first 21 days of the window does not exactly augur well.

But until the window closes on the first of February, I want to believe that something really is cooking on that front. That a few new faces are being sought to bolster the troops. A striker, at least. Maybe a defensive midfielder. A recognition, beyond mere words, that something vaguely pre-emptive is being done to help the troops out.

There’s no point passing judgment until that time comes. That said, I do plan to be quite agitated between now and then.

Roll up, roll up! Well, no need to hurry.

There are a fair few players who are surplus to requirements at the club. And there are a few positions we could murder some reinforcements in. I think that both these things are fair to say. Incoming, we already a thoroughbred German with a trillion national caps and a very decent scoring record indeed. (Incidentally, we now have 174 German caps at the club. Beat that, Middle Eastlands!)

Outgoing, Almunia has already been released, but there are strikers who don’t play, defenders past their sell-by date, goalkeepers who want to move on and loan players coming back to the club who need to go straight back round the revolving door. Seeya lads!

I also think it’s fair to say that this is a normal state of affairs at a big club – Arsenal is no different to any other.

For simpletons like me, it would be great to wake up tomorrow morning to read that Wenger had offloaded all of his (let’s for the sake of it say eight) unwanted players and was at this very moment wiping down his Departures chalkboard and renaming it Signings. And that two days later, there’d be a triple-signing fest, van Persie and Walcott would sign on the dotted line – at which point the boss would hang a Mission Accomplished banner across the top of the entrance to London Colney. We could all go on holiday, watch a bit of Euro 2012 and come back fresh with an intact squad, no injuries, raring to go. In my world, that’s how I’d like things to be done. That’s how Twitter wants it done too I suspect (though I think NewsNow would take the opposite stance – it would probably approve of letting things rumble along interminably, with no obvious conclusion in sight).

I regret to have to dampen enthusiasm on this front, but I fear it’s not going to come to pass in this fashion. Euro 2012 is coming up, and summer tournaments are notorious dampeners on transfer activity. Wenger will be commentating, and I know for a fact that Gazidis and Dick Law are going on a Yoga retreat to Croatia for a fortnight. So that’s them out the loop. Kroenke is planning to walk the Appalation trail (to find himself, I hear) and Usmanov has enrolled on a C++ introduction module. People have their lives to think about too, you know.

Anyway, just to remind you, here’s how it panned out last year:

08 June – Jenkinson signs
04 July – Clichy leaves
11 July – Gervinho signs
20 July – Denilson leaves on loan
08 August – Oxlade-Chamberlain signs
15 August – Fabregas leaves
17 August – Eboue leaves, Vela leaves on loan
24 August – Na$ri leaves
30 August – Park, Santos sign
31 August – Benayoun, Arteta, Mertesacker sign
31 August – Bendtner leaves on loan

I may have missed one or two here but the point stands: one in June, three in July and eleven in August.

Now look, I know we want stuff done sooner. It needs to be done sooner for reasons I need not go in to. But with the best will in the world, my guess is we’ve got a while to wait yet.

Make yourself a cup of tea, I would.