The fat lady never sings in the first act

Johnny Holiday

Nice long break from this lark, looking at sunsets and things, so much so that I didn’t watch much of the Emirates Cup, the Community Shield passed me by for the most part, and I didn’t see the Palace goals until about two days ago. I am a prawn sandwich, and if I was to organise myself into any kind of military unit, I’d probably be found in a brigade.

I’ve got caught up in the whole early judgement lark though, by god I have. We huffed and puffed against Palace and I screamed “New signings!” We laboured against Besiktas and I thought “Giroud, you great lump! Sanogo as a backup meh!”

I’m not the only one. One defeat for van Gaal’s United and they’re gone. They’re gone! Liverpool, because they huffed and puffed a bit too against Southampton and they’ve lost you know who, are going to fall off the face of the earth if you read the online predictions. Right off the earth! And Chelsea, well they kicked it all off so well that it’s finito. City too. It’s all over. All over!

We’ve played one league game.

Now look, before you nobble me – I’m not saying Arsenal are going nowhere, nor am I saying they’re going to motor forth. I’m not saying our game against Besiktas was easy on the eye. To be honest, that tie is in the balance. The fact is though, I don’t think I can judge on the basis of one game, or two, when nobody’s quite ready and some players aren’t even back. And I know everyone’s under pressure to pass judgement right now, but what’s the point? There’s buying and selling to be done, in all probability, across the entire league.

I can’t remember who it was who pointed it out, but back in the day nobody would even publish the league table until about three games were gone. I think that’s sensible. Most teams are like new foals staggering about with giant hooves and spindly legs.

That said…

There’s obvious scope for more bodies at the club. Wenger has said it. We all think it. In an ideal world, you’d maybe say a new centre-back, a defensive midfielder and a striker (perhaps Pele, Ferenc Puskas or at the very least Lionel Messi). If I was going to push my neck out at this juncture, thereby completely negating the above rant about pointless conjecture, I’d say we’ll get one more for sure and maybe two, if the wind is in the right direction. Three, you’re having a giraffe.

But I am utterly hashtag ITD.

What I do know though is that it is, quite literally, early doors.