I’m back from my sand-infested break to be greeted by a distinct lack of anything. I did very recently have a dream that we’d signed Michael Owen, but that hardly counts as transfer speculation, especially as the same dream, if I recall, had something to do with me riding some kind of space scooter too, and those two slices of information combined make the whole thing less than plausible.

The current rumours, for what they are worth, seem to involve just French players. Henry off, Aliohdear off, Sagna in, even Cisse too. I wouldn’t be surprised if General de Gaulle comes in tomorrow on a long-term contract for an undisclosed fee. Dead or otherwise, he’s tall and we could do with some height and presence at the heart of defence.

No, the conclusion I can draw is that there are no conclusions yet to draw. We’ve got the fixture list in ten days apparently, if you can wait that long.

Me neither.