The pitch is rubbish, the journey’s too long and it’s absolutely brass monkeys – welcome to another Champions League trip to Moscow.

The former Soviet Union is the one place where we have been resoundingly thumped each time we have gone there, and this time round we’ve once again got our work cut out. There’s no doubt it could be a tricky one. And it’s not being played in CSKA’s stadium for some reason – the switch having been made to Lokomotiv’s ground. Let’s hope the linesman doesn’t complain of leaves on the line.

(Sorry).

Still, we’re in rude health, with the exception of the usual injured triumvirate (Lauren, Diaby and Senderos), plus Eboue and Baptista.

Roll on 5.30pm. I look forward to listening to the game sitting in my car, most likely in some unpleasant traffic jam.

It’s a glamorous life.